How I handled a false accusation. Hmmm!!! sad but I have to share. This is a little guide on what I did when I was falsely accused on several occasions but this article focuses on the latest situation that happened to me in the latter part of 2018. I hope this article helps you if you are going through such a phase in life.
Being falsely accused, a situation that I wish no one goes through in life. You actually cannot predict the future and when you will face most situations. The false accusation comes when you least expect, whereas others come due to schemes and slanderous folks against you and some as a test to build you up or get rid of you.
According to Job 14:1 (KJV) in the Holy Bible which says, “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble”.
It is true. Why do I, you or anyone have to go through such an ordeal you may ask. A short life to live and we are being tormented. In most cases, you cannot answer until the process is over.
Do not fret my dear reader. You will definitely learn to overcome similar challenges to improve yourself and to counsel others.
A false accusation can hit hard on your mind causing mental stress, emotional breakdown, self-blame and sometimes taking some extremely wild decisions to protect yourself in future but in the end up, you end up hurting yourself more and those closest to you.
I have been through several situations of being accused falsely in this short life on earth just as Job said in the Bible verse above. And sometimes, I ask my self, I do find lots of peace when alone and when I am with those I love, so what am I doing socialising with people to get hurt?
You need the ability to discern and sometimes learning that ability has to do with you going through all sorts of challenges.– Franklyn Fosu.
As long as you are in a human institution (your family and society i.e. school, work, public places, etc), you can be a victim of false accusations. But as an introvert and more of a phlegmatic, the many situations I have been through never stopped me from loving people and being a leader. So I believe you can go through any situation and come out victorious.
I always thought I would curl up into my hermit life to have a peaceful living but due to my resilient nature, I keep bouncing back to be at peace with my accusers and slanderers as well. In this life, if everyone loves you, you are at a greater risk, likewise when everyone hates you. You need the ability to discern and sometimes learning that ability has to do with you going through all sorts of challenges.
This is what I did to handle a false accusation.
For courtesy and respect to that friend, only excepts of the situation will be published.
1. Keep calm.
Remember, your accusers have already concluded in their minds or have been brainwashed from slanderers. So no matter what you say or do at the initial moment will change their minds to understand your side of the story which is The Truth.
Just stay calm and keep your emotions under control.
The year 2018 was the latest situation of being falsely accused. A friend I was helping purchase a piece of equipment really tormented my life for three (3) weeks.
He called every day to insult me and unleash all the “swear” words in the history of swear words on me. I just kept calm and listened faithfully to his hours of degrading comments. Interestingly, after listening diligently, I felt bad for a few moments, prayed to understand why this situation was happening to me and what I could learn from it. Immediately after the prayer, I felt a peace of mind and peace in heart. The only issue was, I had to wait for my two (2) times a day, daily dosage of degrading comments from someone I was helping. KEEPING CALM AND HUMBLE WAS A GREAT STEP.
2. Maintain your side of the truth.
Yeah! “let your yes be yes and no, no”. At times, you will be pressured to twist the truth so you don’t get punished or disgraced. Dear reader, I tell you to, Never Succumb to twisting the truth. Be courageous to say it as it is!
call black, black and not deepened ash.– Franklyn Fosu.
With the story of Joseph in the Holy Bible who was accused by Potiphar’s wife, dude accepted his fate since he knew he was right and knew the truth. Interestingly, no one would have believed him because of his servanthood position in the house of Potiphar. Joseph was punished and disgraced but finally, he came out victoriously and was elevated to a higher position. God never fails His own.
In my case, after the storm had settled, I was elevated to a higher plain of emotional management. I understood the psychological behaviour of the individual in question and how to handle false accusations, hence this article.
After my three (3) weeks of verbal torture, the truth finally came out. The cause of me being falsely accused was that the name “Franklyn” was the same name as another person. I had to explain on several occasion that there was a mix-up but no one believed me so I stopped defending myself and allowed time to pass till the truth came out.
3. Journal the situation and how you feel towards your accusers.
Writing down the situation, how I felt and how I thought, was one sure way of self-improvement and emotional intelligence/management.
I did this once when I was young in primary school. It helped me access my self, my accusers, my imaginations, the instant action I wanted to take and what the bible said about anger in the book of Ephesians 4:26 which says, “In your anger do not sin, Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”.
So I just noted everything down. Later I had to read what I wrote down when my mind was at peace and I realised, It was best to keep calm in such a situation. This step of journaling my emotions has been of great benefit to me. It has actually fortified my emotional strength. Indirectly, I learnt psychology just by observing.
4. Ignore the negative comments.
Even though I listened attentively to my morning and evening dose of verbal abuse and accusations (LOL), I filtered every word being said to me. I ignored the negative words and processed every sentence spoken to me to maintain my emotions and respond wisely. You need a great deal of patience. So I say, STAY CALM!
The negative comments will definitely trigger you to retaliate but keep staying calm since you know the truth. It is advisable to not add fuel to the fire that needs to be quenched. Ignore the negative and degrading comments for the sake of your peace and the situation at hand.
5. Oh yeah! I was disgraced.
I was really disgraced which forced me to pray and journal my emotions at that point in time. It was not a pleasant feeling but I thank God I started my journey in leadership at a very young age. Of which, I have been disgraced several times whilst standing for the truth and what is right. So the situation was not new.
“An experience they say is always the best teacher” and my only concern and prayers were why this friend was accusing me so enthusiastically? Why this time? and what can I learn from the situation?.
When the truth finally came out, this friend called me on the phone and asked, “why did you do that?”
I responded, “I tried telling you the truth from the beginning”.
He ended the phone call the moment I said that.
I have been through several false accusations and it has actually fortified me emotionally and psychologically. At the end of the day, forgiveness is what finally seals the entire situations. We let all pains go and keep what we learn from such situations.
I hope the above steps will be helpful to you in case you find yourself in such an unwanted situation – False Accusation. Do link up if you are in such a situation and need guidance. Stay safe and remember situations build us up. Kindly, donate to support my blog and thanks for reading.